How to Care for Your Aging Parent

About one in four U.S. households are involved in caring for a loved one aged 50 or older, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance. Many times these caregiving responsibilities fall on the adult child, leaving them to face many challenges of managing the finances, health care and home services for their aging parent.

The earlier caregivers can start planning and talking openly about such services that will likely be needed as their parents age, the smoother the process will be, says Donna Schempp, LCSW, program director for the Family Caregiver Alliance, a nonprofit organization that provides information on caregiving and long-term care issues (www. caregiver.org).

FINANCES

When a parent's health or memory starts to decline, their finances are often one item that gets cast aside. Experts recommend that caregivers create a list of the parent's finances, including such items as checking and savings accounts, investments, retirement or pension benefits, Social Security income, real estate deeds, insurance policies, loans and home mortgages.

"Often parents will be very secretive about their financial situation, but more openness is needed so children can make more decisions," Schempp says. "What kind of care those parents are going to get later in life, depends a lot on money. The more open conversations [that caregivers and aging parents] can have long before the need, the better off it is going to be."

That doesn't mean they have to disclose their finances down to the penny, but giving caregivers an overview will help determine priorities and decisions regarding services that can be provided. Not to mention that this will serve as an indicator to caregivers whether such services will be limited and how much they may have to take on themselves.

After all, long-term care, such as a nursing home, can cost about $40,000 to $80,000 a year.

Ask an attorney to draw up a durable power of attorney (DPA), which allow parents to designate a person to manage their finances if they are unable to do so.

HEALTH DECISIONS

As parents age, it's important for them to keep their children in the loop on their health status, which may mean allowing their adult child to accompany them to a doctor's appointment. Under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), doctors can't talk to caregivers about a person's health without that person's consent.

Nevertheless, Schempp says it's important for caregivers - even in these cases - to still talk with the doctor and provide information on their perceptions or concerns about the parent's health.

"The doctor might not be able to give feedback but can take it into consideration in planning for the patient's care," Schempp says. In helping to avoid health care struggles down the road, caregivers should also encourage their parents to have a living will, which provides the parents' wishes regarding medical care and designates someone to make care decisions if the parent is unable to.

SERVICES FOR ASSISTANCE

A caregiver can't do it all. Experts encourage caregivers to seek out friends, neighbors, family and community support so providing assistance doesn't become too much of a burden. For example, services such as Meals on Wheels, which can provide meals to seniors, or hiring a housekeeper to do basic cleaning and laundry may be all that is needed to ease the pressures of caregiving.

Church groups and community service organizations often have programs to assist with a range of services, such as yard work, transportation, grocery shopping and even emotional support in visiting seniors during the day. Adult day-care centers, which provide social services and activities, also might be an option.

If at-home health care is needed, caregivers may consider hiring a licensed vocational nurse (LVN) or a registered nurse (RN). Or caregivers may also opt for a medical alert system, in which people can push a button when in a crisis to get assistance to their home.

To find local community services, look in the newspaper, consult with a hospital or doctor's office, or use locator databases on the Internet at such sites as www.eldercare.gov, which is operated by the U.S. Administration on Aging, or the National Respite Locator Service at www.respitelocator.org.